Disappointment - His Appointment: An anonymous poem

Today's post features a poem I read recently that was written by an anonymous author.  I figured since we had been studying about forgiveness this past week, this poem would fit quite well.  May the Lord bless you on this day dear reader.

Dissapointment - His Appointment
Author: Unknown 

Disappointment - His Appointment

 

Change one letter - then I see

 

That the thwarting of my purpose

 

Is God's better choice for me

 

His appointment must be blessing

 

Tho' it may come in disguise

 

For the end from the beginning

 

Open to His wisdom lies

 

Disappointment - His Appointment

 

No goodwill He withhold

 

From denials oft we gather

 

Treasures of His love untold

 

Well He knows each broken purpose

 

Leads to fuller deeper trust

 

And the end of all His dealings

 

Proves our God is wise and just

 

Disappointment - His Appointment

 

Lord, I take it, then, as such

 

Like clay in the hands of a potter

 

Yielding wholly to thy touch

 

My life's plan is thy molding

 

Not one single choice be mine

 

Let me answer, unrepining

 

Father, not my will, but thine



Having Zeal like Jesus

Numbers 25:11 (KJV) Phinehas, the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, hath turned my wrath away from the children of Israel, while he was zealous for my sake among them, that I consumed not the children of Israel in my jealousy.

When zeal for God intersects with youth
In Numbers 25 we find God's people reeling from the heels of compromise.  The Bible tells us that the people heeded the counsel of the pagan prophet Balaam and began to commit fornication with the women of Moab and spiritual fornication through the worship of Moabite deities. (Numbers 31:16; Revelation 2:14)  Needless to say God pronounced judgment upon the leadership of Israel, a plague broke out and the people were desparately weeping at the entryway of the tabernacle along with Moses. (Numbers 25:4, 9) To compound the situation, an Israelite man decided to flagrantly commit sin by parading both he and one of the women before the people who were gathered. (Numbers 25:6) 

Phineas, the young grandson of Aaron and son of Eliezer, the high priest of Israel, could not stand it any longer.  The Bible records his response in Numbers 25:8  "he went after the man of Israel into the tent, and thrust both of them through, the man of Israel, and the woman through her belly. So the plague was stayed from the children of Israel." We know that Phineas could not had been older than 20, since his name does not appear in the census of men 20 years and older in Numbers 26.  He was but a youth, and yet he displayed the wisdom of the aged.  He was zealous for His God, so much so that God pledged he would have a perpetual priesthood. (Numbers 25:12-13)

What is zeal for God?
Phineas the youth, in the priestly line of Israel, a young lad, took up the cause as God's man - he was zealous for God.  In fact redemptive history has this to say about Phineas' zeal in Psalm 106:29-31"Thus they provoked Him to anger with their deeds, and the plague broke out among them. 30Then Phinehas stood up and interposed, and so the plague was stayed. 31And it was reckoned to him for righteousness, to all generations forever." What did Phineas exhibited that stands out in scripture in defining him with the zeal of God?

1. Promoted God's work.   Numbers 25:1-7 
The Lord said to Moses, who in turn told the judges of Israel, that all who joined themselves to the revelry of Baal of Peor and the immorality of the people were to be executed. (Numbers 25:4-5)  Phineas took up the cause of God's work.  Lest the plague be stayed, lest the rebels parading the cause of unrighteousness be ceased, God's work would be jeopardized.  Phineas, the youth of his time, promoted God's work.  But notice also...

2. Prioritized God's Word.   Numbers 25:8-9
Phineas did as God and Moses had told the judges - he went in and slayed those who were alligned with the rebellion against God.  He heard the word of God - and he acted accordingly.  Zeal for God does not know slow nor delayed obedience - only instant obedience to God's word.

3. Empowered by God's Holy Spirit.   Numbers 25:10-18
God said that Phineas did what he did with "His jealousy" (NASB) or as the KJV renders "His zeal".  Undoubtedly Phineas acted under the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.  The "zeal of the Lord" or "jealously of the Lord" is used elsewhere to describe the power of the Holy Spirit. (Isaiah 9:6-7) 1

Phineas' zeal was like Jesus zeal
In John 2:13-17 we find Jesus at the beginning of His ministry.  We see Him going into the temple and throwing out the money changers
The zeal of God finds its zenith in the life of Jesus.  Phineas foreshadowed what would be the fulfillment in Jesus Christ.2  Jesus too exhibited zeal for God:

1. He promoted God's work John 2:13-16
He told those in the temple they were making the Father's house into a house of merchandise.  What was profane had trespassed on the grounds of the sacred.  Zeal for God draws the line between the two.  God's work needs zealous people who will defend and promote the glory of God.

2. He prioritzed God's word  John 2:17
In acting out Psalm 69:9, Jesus is placing God's word above popularity and favor with men.  The zeal of God consumed him.

3. He was empowered by the Holy Spirit  John 2:17
Luke 4:18 records Jesus at the beginning of His ministry as being empowered by the Holy Spirit.  Undoubtedly what he did in the temple was directed and empowered by the Spirit of God. 

Phineas' zeal for God was ultimately like Jesus' zeal.  As we close out this blog today, I want to urge you and I to have zeal for God like Jesus.  Two passages in the New Testament describe the kind of people Christians ought to be like with regards to zeal for God:

As Christians, may we have the zeal of Jesus
Romans 12:11 (NIV) "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."

Titus 2:14 (NASB)  "who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds."

May we be those who promote the work of God, prioritze the word of God and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. 


Endnotes

1 The phrase "zeal for God" is used in scripture to describe the ministry of the work of the Holy Spirit.  Compare 2 Kings 19:31; Isaiah 9:7; 37:15.  I would suggest that since Jesus was empowered by the Holy Spirit as the Messiah, and since Isaiah 9:6-7 predicts the Messiah with the phrase "zeal of the Lord of hosts", then it follows that "zeal of the Lord" refers to the activity of the Holy Spirit working in the Messianic ministry of Jesus and in the life of the believer who exhibits zeal for God.


2 Phineas is a type or shadow of Jesus Christ. Like Jesus, he made atonement, or satisfaction for the people. (Numbers 25:13; 1 John 2:2) Secondly, like Jesus, Phineas was declared by God to have a perpetual priesthood and covenant of peace. (Numbers 25:12; Hebrews 7:24-25) Phineas' priesthood in terms of its ongoing nature would last as long as the Aaronic priesthood, which terminated once Christ came. Thirdly Phineas' name in the Hebrew means "face open to God". 2 Corinthians 4:4 describes the glory of God being in rhe face of Jesus Christ. 


 

Refreshing Benefits of Forgiveness

Philemon 20 Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.

For the past few days we have been exploring the major themes of forgiveness in Philemon.  Thus far we have discovered the following truths:

The hub of Christian identity is forgiveness - Philemon 1-3
The heart behind forgiveness is God's love - Philemon 4-9
The appeal to forgive finds its beginning and end in the cross - Philemon 10-19

In today's blog we want to round out this study of Philemon by noting the refreshing benefits of forgiveness.  As we saw in the above verse, Philemon's positive response to Paul's appeal to forgive Onesimus will undoubtedly "refresh" Paul's heart.  Forgiveness benefits both the forgiver and the forgiven in the following ways:

1. Godly living will flow from delight, not just duty. 
As Paul writes in Philemon 20-21: "Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, since I know that you will do even more than what I say."  

2. Godly insights will become more available.
Philemon 22 tells us: "22At the same time also prepare me a lodging, for I hope that through your prayers I will be given to you."

3. Godly fellowship will grow sweeter.
We read in Philemon 23-24: "Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, 24as do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, my fellow workers."  Notice all of the wonderful people that can be opened up to us when we forgive.  Not only does forgiveness open our lives up to let the light of the Lord shine in, but also to let the fellowship of other Christians be more sweeter and precious.

4. God's grace will operate more freely.
We discover in Philemon 25: "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit". When you and I forgive, its not that we have to beg God for the grace needed to live with whatever consequences or whatever cost forgiveness may have to absorb.  Rather, by forgiving, we are stepping into grace already available. 

The appeal to forgive

Philemon 10-11 "I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment, 11who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me."

For the past couple of days we have been exploring the book of Philemon, noting the major themes of forgiveness.  No other book in the Bible is soley devoted the subject of forgiveness like Philemon.  At the heart of this short letter is Paul's appeal to Philemon to forgive his run away slave Onesimus.  If you will recall, Onesimus had stolen property from Philemon, ran away and ended up in the same prision situation as the Apostle Paul.  Onesimus' conversion to Christ prompted Paul to appeal to Philemon to take Onesimus back and regard him as a fellow brother.

The appeal to forgive expects a response
The word translated "appeal" in verse 10 is translated elsewhere in the New Testament as a "summons", a "call", an "urging" and an "exhortation".  This request by Paul carries with it the idea of an expected response from Philemon.  It shows us that true forgiveness in Christ is connected with the Divine calling of God on your life as a Christian.  We have seen already that forgiveness is at the hub of the Christian identity and that love is at its heart.  Now we can add another thought to understanding true forgiveness - namely that it is an appeal. 

For the remainer of this post I want to unfold the manner of the appeal to forgive written here by Paul under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.  Note the following about the appeal to forgive:

1. The appeal to forgive comes from a mediator.  Philemon 10-13
The Lord is speaking through Paul to Philemon.  God is making His appeal.  He desires His people to be reconciled to Him and to one another.  Paul is functioning here as a mediator between Philemon and Onesimus, a role that he has done before in other letters to other churches. (compare Philippians 4:1-2)The Lord shows us that only with a mediator can forgiveness be possible. (1 Timothy 2:5; 1 John 1:9-2:2; Hebrews 1:3-4). 

2. The appeal of forgiveness is to a willing heart.  Philemon 14
Paul's appeal is based in love, which we explored in the last post.  We won't write too much more on this point, only to note that love and forgiveness have this common trait - a willing heart.  What Paul is trusting God for and appealing to Philemon for is a willing heart to forgive.

3. The appeal to forgive acknowledges God's working. Philemon 15-16
We read in verses 15-16 of Philemon: "For perhaps he was for this reason separated from you for a while, that you would have him back forever, 16no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord."  I love it when a biblical author writes a phrase like - "perhaps for this reason".  It clues us in on the fact that the events leading to Onesimus' incarceration with Paul and Paul's letter to Philemon were orchestrated by God. 

God was at work.  No doubt he had brought Onesimus to the end of himself.  Onesimus had been a runaway thief. Now Onesimus was a convert, a worshipper of Christ.  Philemon too was having a season as well.  God knew the timing that would be needed for Philemon to heal and for Onesimus to be brought to repentance.  Sometimes separation, distance and time are not always bad things.

Think about Jacob and Esau or Joseph and his brothers in the book of Genesis.  Those true accounts involved forgiveness.  Time, distance and separation were used by God to orchestrate events on both sides of the forgiveness event - both for the forgiver and the offender.   

4. The appeal to forgive points back to the cross.  Philemon 19-20
Paul states in Philemon 19b - "not to mention to you that you owe to me even your own self as well." - aluding to Philemon's conversion to Christ under Paul's ministry.  As Paul begins to bring his appeal to a close, points back to the cross - the event upon which Philemon and every child of God leans on for salvation.

The theological concept called "imputation" or the crediting of Christ's work and life to a person at saving faith is found in verse 18, namely:  "But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account".  To impute means "to credit the work of another to another."  Thus Paul's statement is pointing back to what Jesus did when our sin was reckoned to him and in turn when He reckons to every believer His righteousness.  Faith alone is necessary and sufficient to receive what Christ has done and accomplished.  Paul tells Philemon to regard Onesimus as himself, and that he in turn is willing to take on Onesimus' debts if need be to make Philemon's forgiveness of Onesimus a reality.  Truly that is what Christ did for us - taking on my sin so that I by faith could be clothed in His righteousness. (2 Corinthians 5:21) 

The appeal to forgive truly has its beginning and end in the cross. 

The heart behind true forgiveness

Philemon 8-9 "Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper, 9 yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you—since I am such a person as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus."

Yesterday we considered how forgiveness is the hub of Christian identity.  Truly a Christian is no more like Jesus Christ than when he or she forgives. (Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:13)  Today we want to deal with the essence of forgiveness itself. 

Forgiveness can only be effective when it arises from grace, rather than duty
Paul writes in Philemon 8-9 "Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper, 9yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you—since I am such a person as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus".   Paul's appeal to Philemon could had came out of his authority as an apostle, it could had been articulated as a guilt trip or even as demand out of sheer obligation.  No doubt Paul the mighty Apostle to the Gentiles could issue decrees, thus commanding Philemon to forgive this newly converted man Onesimus.  Without question Paul, the prince of preachers, could had laid upon Philemon to forgive Onesimus who had been converted under his time with Paul in prison.  Beyond doubt Paul could had used the fact that Philemon himself was a convert of Paul's ministry, and that somehow he "owed" Paul. 

If Paul would had done either of those methods, the forgiveness demanded would had been done out of duty, rather than grace.  What does Paul say he is doing instead in verse 9: "yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you."  It is love, based on the ultimate love of God at Calvary that governs the logic of forgivness. (Romans 5:8).  Grace - God's Riches At Christ's Expense, is the chiefest motivation for wanting to forgive those who outside of grace only deserve justice. 

Difference between non-Christian and Christian expressions of forgiveness
In light of what we just observed in Philemon 8-9, we can understand the difference between non-Christian and Christian expressions of forgiveness.  When a non-Christian forgives, they do it because of duty.  They do it because: "its the right thing" or "I know it will help me feel better" or "I know that it will benefit everyone for me to do it".  In the world outside of the cross, the mouth that utters "I forgive" has beneath its breath: "however".  Why?  Because outside the cross forgiveness makes no sense.  Forgiveness is viewed as the best of options - but to the unbelieving world - it is an option.  Often the preferred option is vengence. 

However for a person who has been brought to the cross by grace through faith and believed on Jesus Christ - forgiveness is the only thing that makes sense.  Forgiveness based upon what God did in Jesus Christ is not a duty.  Rather forgiveness is an expression of love.  If anything - vengance is cancelled out at Calvary.  All grounds of accusation and litigation are taken away at the cross. (Romans 5:6-10; Colossians 2:11-15)  Christian forgiveness not only changes the state of the guilty in the eyes of the forgiving person, but the forgiving person is changed too.

The one who has been forgiven much will love much
A wonderful illustration of the heart of forgiveness is seen in the account of the woman anointing Jesus' feet in Luke 7:40-50.  She came, a woman with a checkered past.  She came, crawling on the ground, hair unfurled, dragging on the ground.  She came, sobbing, weeping, trembling, bent in humility.  She began to wipe Jesus' soiled feet with her hair.  Her love was without bounds.  Why? Jesus stated that she loved much because she has been forgiven much. (Luke 7:47)   The love of the cross reached backward in time to her.  She by grace believed the promises of God and grabbed hold of Christ the Person of those promises.  The accomplishment of Calvary reaches forward in time to us.

How much has God forgiven us through Jesus Christ?  What did we do that compelled the sinless Savior to go to the cross?  I often tell people that no matter what someone has done to you to bring about your circumstances, it can never compare to what you and I did to compell Jesus to go to the cross on our behalf. 

Why the heart behind true forgiveness is love
In going back to Paul's comments in Philemon, why did he choose love as the basis of his appeal to Philemon? Because in order for forgiveness to be real and effective - it has to be a choice.  Only one other expression matches that set of criteria - love.  If love is forced or guilted into, then it is not love.  Love is the hand and forgiveness is the glove.  Love is the pond and forgiveness the fountain.  Love is the flower and forgiveness the scent.  Paul was trusting completely in the sufficency of the Spirit's inspired words flowing through him, and out of that pen on paper to soften Philemon's heart.  Forgiveness is influenced by love - and love is the cause of forgiveness, which results in change and transformed lives. 

Forgiveness: The hub of Christian identity

Philemon 17-18 "If then you regard me a partner, accept him as you would me. 18But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account"

What is forgiveness?
The little book of Philemon is completely dedicated to the theme of forgiveness.  In studying the meanings of the Hebrew and Greek words used in the Bible for "forgiveness", we find the following definitions: to let go or to release from guilt and further accusation.  Forgiveness can only be effectively done and make sense when expressed in light of the cross.  (Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:13) Though unbelievers everyday may express forgiveness, it will not have the affect nor will it make total sense outside the cross.  The only thing that makes sense in our unbelieving world is vengance.  As we will see, at the cross, things are reversed.  The grounds of accusation and vengance are revoked - leaving only mercy and grace as the options that can be received into the heart that by faith will look to Christ as Savior and Lord.  (Ephesians 1:7)

Why is the Book of Philemon a book of forgiveness?
The book of Philemon is about Onesimus, a run away slave, who had stolen everything from his master - Philemon.  Onesimus had escaped to Rome, hoping to find his freedom.  Instead he ended up in worse trouble (though in God's Sovereign plan nothing could be better) - landing in jail with the Apostle Paul.  This runaway would had been branded a Fugitive (fugitivas) by the Roman Empire.  According to Roman custom, if the slave owner so chose, he could have the "Fugative" excuted.  In the course of Onesimus' incarceration, he became converted under Paul's preaching.  Paul  wrote this letter to Philemon, who happened to be Paul's friend and Onesimus' owner.   Would Philemon forgive? Will Onesimus be regarded not merely as a slave but also a fellow brother in Christ?  These are the questions the Book of Philemon will aim to answer. 

How forgiveness is the hub of Christian identity
Pastor John MacArthur has noted that we are never more like Jesus Christ than when we forgive.  Forgiveness lies at the heart of true Christian identity.  How is it that forgiveness is at the core of Christian identity?  Consider the following thoughts from Philemon:

1. Christians have no right to be unforgiving. Philemon 1
Paul writes in Philemon 1a "Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus....", which tells us that his own self-perception was that of a man without rights.  The man who composed this little letter under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost was saying that as a prisoner of Jesus Christ, he had no rights.  To forgive first and foremost means letting go of "my so-called" rights to hold the grudge and to remain angry. Forgiveness means I choose to no longer accuse the other person who very may well deserve nothing but justice and scorn.  Nonethless Christians have no right to hold grudges, but rather to forgive, as the Lord forgave them. (Colossians 3:13)

2. Christian fellowship depends on forgiveness. Philemon 1b-2
Philemon 1b-2 reads - ..."and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our beloved brother and fellow worker, 2and to Apphia our sister, and to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your house." Notice the underlined words of these verses - they all have to do with typical relationships experienced in life and among Christians in fellowship with one another.  Philemon's home was the meeting place of the church at Colosse.  We know this because Archippus in mentioned in that letter, most likely meaning he was its Pastor. (Colossians 4:13)  Even more intriguing is the fact that Apphia is Archippus' mother and Philemon may very well had been her husband and his dad!  Imagine if Philemon would choose not to forgive?  it would set of a chain reaction of a church split, a split family and the dimming of the Gospel witness at Colosse.  Christian fellowship depends on forgiveness, and forgiveness is at the hub of Christian identity.  But also notice....

3. Christian Victory relies upon forgiveness.  Philemon 2
Paul writes in Philemon 2 - "and to Archippus our fellow soldier".  Why is it that so many Christians live defeated lives?  Why are we not all living as "fellow soldiers"?  Because we choose to hold the grudge, take up the offense, rather than letting go in Jesus name.  Jesus taught the principle of forgiving your brother as a means of being more effective in prayer.  Consider Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."

4. Christians hear God through forgiveness. Philemon 3
We read these words in Philemon 3 - "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."  This short epistle is all about forgiveness, but it also reminds us that apart from God's Grace, whereby He gives to us what we do not deserve, forgiveness is an impossibility.  Forgiveness brings me to God when I receive it, because in His grace He offered it to me to believe it.  Jesus says in John 10:27 that every Christian follows Him because at saving grace, every sheep was given that capacity to hear His voice and follow Him.

When Christians refuse to forgive, they dull their ability to hear God in whatever area they have chosen to be bitter. Ephesians 4:30-32 reminds us -  "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. "  More tomorrow....

The only way you can forgive yourself

Ephesians 2:12 remember that you were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. 13But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

The Christian is primarily a product of Christ's finished work, not their past
Have you ever met anyone who had trouble forgiving themselves?  Perhaps you reading this post today fit into this category.  What does it mean to forgive?  Biblically speaking to forgive is to release or let go of the grounds and authority to condemn someone who has hurt you.  Colossians 3:13 tells us - "forgive as the Lord forgive you".  As author and counselor Niel T. Anderson notes: "whenever anyone has believed on Jesus Christ, they are not longer a product of their past, since everything in their lives is now defined by what Christ has accomplished on their behalf." 

What if I'm not a Christian
The ability to forgive others is based upon what Christ has done on the cross.  If you have received by faith the forgivness of sins through Jesus Christ, then you have every provision available to forgive anyone.  If you have not yet  believed on Jesus Christ as Savior, Lord and treasure, I urge you do as the scriptures states in Romans 10:8-10 "But what does it say? “THE WORD IS NEAR YOU, IN YOUR MOUTH AND IN YOUR HEART”—that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, 9that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."  

Why the past needs to be regarded as the past, rather than the present - exploring the meaning of "forgiving yourself"
Living with guilt and remorse from the past can paralyze you if you are convinced that who you are is defined by what you did or who you were at the time you did what you did.  But what about forgiving yourself?  What does it mean to forgive yourself? Lets consider some thoughts from Ephesians 2 on how it is you can forgive yourself.

1. Recognize your past identity and life to be dead
To "forgive yourself" in the Christian sense can only be done when you receive God the father's testimony of your new found identity in Jesus Christ.  Note this: there is no command in scripture that speaks about forgiving yourself, however there are tons of scriptures that speaks of God forgiving and accepting the believer in Christ.  "Forgiving yourself" is another way of really saying: "I accept by faith what God the Father declared about me as a believer in the scripture".  Who you were and whose you were is replaced by now affirming who you are and whose you are.  Paul in this chapter labors to demonstrate that who the Ephesians were no longer applies nor has grounds to accuse who they are in Christ.  Note what he says:

Who I was and whose I was
-"And you were dead in your tresspasses and sins" 2:1
-"in which you formerly walked" 2:2
-"according to the prince of the power of the air" 2:2
-"among them we formerly lived" in the lusts of our flesh 2:3
-(we were) indulging the desires of the flesh 2:3
-we were by nature children of wrath 2:3
-Therefore remember that formerly.... (see, this is who you were) 2:11
-remember at that time you were separate...excluded...strangers...no hope...without God...2:12

Before you received Christ by grace through faith, who were you? Dead, bound in lust and desire, children of wrath, without hope and without God.  Before you received Christ by grace through faith, whose were you? You were under the tyranny of Satan.  You were enslaved by your desires.  You were a product of your past, your family, your habits, your old identity in fallen Adam. 

Do you accept God's testimony in His word that this is who you were?  that it is past tense? that you are no more that person? If so, you are well on your way to "forgiving yourself".  But notice what else Ephesians 2 has to say.

2. Choose to receive what God in Christ has said about you instead
To forgive yourself in Christ is to receive and accept what God has already said about your past.  In Christ, the power of the past to influence who you are is broken and is no more. (2 Corinthians 5:17)  Ephesians 2 is a fine example of demonstrating what God has to say about the Christian's new identity:

Who I am and whose I am
-"But God being rich in mercy because of His great love with which He loved us" - Ephesians 2:4 Hence you are loved by God believer.
-"even when we were dead....He made us alive together with Christ Ephesians 2:5
-"raised us up with Him" Ephesians 2:6
-"seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus" Ephesians 2:6
-"So that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness towards us in Christ" Ephesians 2:7
-"But now in Christ Jesus you who were formerly far off have been brought near"  Ephesians 2:13
-"For He Himself is our peace.... Ephesians 2:14
-"So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and are of God's household" Ephesians 2:19

So in Christ, by faith, who are you? You are loved, accepted and a new creature in Christ.  You have peace with God, a new position and newly given ability to live out whom God has declared you to be.  Whose are you? You are owned by Christ, in association with Him. 

Do you accept God's testimony about who you are and whose you are? Do you receive instead your new identity in Christ? If you do, then forgiving yourself will be no problem, since in Christ Jesus, the past is the past.  So when you regard your former identity to be dead, and choose to receive what God has said about you instead....

3. Only then can you move on ahead
Forgiving yourself is receiving the fact that God has accepted you in Christ.  Now of course you may ask: what about the consequences?  Certainly when we forgive others or "ourselves", we still may very well have to deal with the consequences of our past.  However, in Christ, when you come to terms with what you did to bring about those consequences, living with them will take on a whole new meaning. 

Only one thing can cleanse the conscience
Forgiveness can only be done in conjunction with the cross, since only at the cross is the past offenses erased and the declaration of innocence made by God over the believer. (Colossians 3:13)  Beating yourself up and condemning yourself is not honoring to God nor effective in washing the past away.  Nothing you and I can do can atone or appease the decisions we rendered in the past.  However, what Christ accomplished, when received by faith, alone appeases and atones for the things of not only the past, but also the future. 

Colossians 2:18a states - "Let no one keep defrauding you of your prize by delighting in self-abasement. . . "  Only the blood of Jesus Christ, applied to you at the moment of saving faith, can cleanse your sins. (Isaiah 53:4-6)  Furthermore, only the blood of Jesus Christ can cleanse away the guilt of your conscience not only at your conversion, but also in your walk of faith following your conversion. (Hebrews 9:14; 1 John 1:9)  Can the accusations and memories of your conscience be silenced? Yes! Through the blood of Christ. 

Forgiving yourself means accepting God's forgiveness of you in Christ
In sum, we have discovered the only way you can forgive yourself:
1. Recognize your past identity and life to be dead
2. Chose to receive what God in Christ has said about you instead
3. Only then can you move ahead