Gospel centered view of gender, marriage and the church

1 Timothy 2:3-4 "This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all men to be saved and tocome to the knowledge of the truth."

When we consider the significance of the Gospel, we not only understand it's importance in regards to how sinners are brought to Christ in saving faith, but also how it informs our understanding of everything in life. To put it another way, some of the most basic truths behind what it means to be human, the meaning of marriage and the purpose of the church would not make sense apart from the Gospel. Today's post aims to demonstrate a Gospel-centered view of gender, marriage and the church from 1 Timothy 2:1-4:10.

What is the Gospel?

When we consider the Gospel or the "Good News", 1 Timothy 2:1-4:10 contains key verses that enable us to define the Excellent Savior, The Event of Salvation and Experience of salvation proclaimed in the Gospel. First, the Excellent Savior, 1 Timothy 2:5 "For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus." The good news about "The Good News" is that we are brought into contact with this Excellent Savior, Jesus Christ, Who is man for us before God and God to us who are undeserving men and women. 1 Timothy 3:16b gives further detail - "He who was revealed in the flesh,Was vindicated in the Spirit, Seen by angels, Proclaimed among the nations, Believed on in the world, Taken up in glory." This Excellent Savior, God in human flesh, came down to earth to become a sinless human being for men, to minister among men, to die for men and to raise from the dead to be believed upon by men. Then, this same Jesus ascended up into heaven to demonstrate He being worthy to be worshipped by men. 

The Gospel tells of an Excellent Savior Who achieved the event of salvation, as recorded in 1 Timothy 2:6 "who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time." This event entailed a transaction, a payment for sin by the Son to the Father. This event occurred on the cross wherein the Son became the curse of sin (Galatians 3:13) and became the very embodiment of sin (2 Corinthians 5:21) while of course remaining the sinless Savior. All that we are and did became credited to Jesus so that all He did and is would be credited (or imputed) to us at saving faith. 

The Excellent Savior achieved the event of salvation, so that their could be a definite experience of salvation to all who are drawn by the Spirit to freely believe on Him. 1 Timothy 4:10 states - "For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers." Jesus Christ is the Savior of all men in a historical and general sense, in that He died to delay the wrath of God and to give men the opportunity to hear the Gospel, repent and believe, as well as to show forth His goodness to them in common grace. (see Matthew 5:45; 2 Peter 3:9) In a second eternal and specific sense, Jesus Christ died specifically for believers, His church, who individually drawn by the Father and called by the Spirit make up the church. (see John 6:44; 16:8-12 and Acts 20:28) Hence the Gospel promises a genuine, definite experience of salvation at the moment of saving faith. This is the Gospel.

A Gospel-centered view of gender

As we noted earlier, issues such as gender cannot be grasped apart from the Gospel, nor for that matter, would the Gospel be understood apart from gender! The Bible is very clear when it comes to God's central focus on gender in Genesis 1:27 "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." God purposefully made man and woman because He intended for them to express distinctive equality within the bounds of their marriage relationship. God Himself expresses distinction and equality within Himself. The Bible reveals God to be One God (Deuteronomy 6:4-5; Matthew 22:37-39) that exists as three co-equal yet distinct Persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. (Matthew 28:18-20; 2 Corinthians 13:14) 

Biblical manhood is defined as men being spiritual leaders in their homes, churches and communities without hesitation. (1 Timothy 2:1-2, 8) Biblical womanhood portrays women as co-equal sharers in the Person and work of Jesus Christ while distinctively finding covering under the loving leadership of their husbands. (1 Corinthians 11:1-3) For women who may not be married, the concept of Jesus Christ being their covering, as well as their inherent value as human beings before God is underscored time and again. (Galatians 3:28) 

When Jesus came to this world, among the benefits He achieved on the cross, restoration of manhood and womanhood in the context of saving faith was among such achievements. (Colossians 3:12-21; 1 Timothy 2:9-15). Galatians 4:4 reminds us that in the very act of the incarnation, the Son chose to use the womb of the virgin to enter from eternity into time. Womanhood's purposes and dignity are restored in Christ. Luke 8 portrays various women serving Jesus and participating in the work He was doing. Undoubtedly the distinction of men and women are preserved insomuch as Jesus called the twelve disciples to be Apostles. Nonetheless, the equal value that women had in Jesus' sight is proven in the fact that they were the first eyewitnesses and proclaimers of His resurrection from the dead. (Matthew 28; Mark 16; Luke 24; John 20). 

Jesus also came to restore true manhood by becoming a true man, as recorded in passages such as Philippians 2:7. The place of gender functions so centrally in all that Jesus came to accomplish. The distinctive equality of men and women that was lost in the fall and warped by sin is restored in a redemptive relationship with Jesus Christ by grace through faith. 

Whenever an attempt is made to erase the distinctions of gender, the Biblical Gospel is abandoned in favor of a man-made idea. The vision of the true and living God is blurred in favor of a deity that is neither real nor saving. Having then looked at the Gospel and a Gospel centered view of gender, we thirdly turn to....

A Gospel-centered view of marriage

What is marriage in the Biblical sense? How specifically defined is marriage? Genesis 1:26 and 2:24-25 specifically define marriage as one man, one woman and covenant with God for life. The Baptist faith and Message 2000 aptly notes about marriage: "God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of human society. It is composed of persons related to one another by marriage, blood, or adoption. Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God's unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel of sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race."

The Baptist Faith and Message (BFM 2000) goes on: "The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation."

This summary of the Biblical material demonstrates that marriage proclaims the truth of the Gospel (Jesus and His church). Whenever we see Jesus reiterating this specific, sacred and standard definition of marriage in Matthew 19:3-5 and Paul clearly connecting marriage to what Jesus achieved on the cross for the sake of His bride, the church, the connection between marriage and the Gospel cannot be avoided. To advocate any other sort of arrangement: co-habitation, pornography, adultery, pre-marital sex or same-sex marriage is lose sight of what marriage was designed to be. None of these other arrangements convey anything about the Gospel and demonstrate themselves to be portrayals of men and women having relationships apart from God's sanction and will. 

A Gospel-centered view of the church

The last point on marriage leads naturally into considering a Gospel-centered view of the church. In 1 Timothy 3:1-13 we see two ordained offices being mention: namely the Pastor (3:1-7) and the Deacon (3:8-13). The qualifications for each of these is over-whelmingly predicated upon sound marriage and family life. Why emphasize marriage and family in the qualifications for leadership and servanthood in the local church? Marriage is an enormous deal to God and it functions intimately with the Gospel. The church is the church of the living God, the "pillar and foundation of truth". (1 Timothy 3:15-16)

As one comes in 1 Timothy 4, warning is given about the error that will be circulating in the times leading up to the second coming of Jesus Christ. Pastors have the responsibility to proclaim the truths just mentioned. (1 Timothy 4:6) If a pastor fails to proclaim the Gospel, a gospel-centered view of gender, marriage, the church and really the whole counsel of God, he is forgetting the fact he will stand before the Lord to give an account. (Hebrews 13:17)

In like manner, the congregation is charged in upholding and living out Gospel-centered manhood and womanhood, marriages and church life. (see Matthew 28:18-20; 2 Corinthians 5:15-21; 1 Timothy 4:10). If churches and pastors give ground in any of the above areas, they have weakened their ability to be faithful stewards of the Gospel and end-up aiming to please men more than God. The Gospel of Jesus Christ must ever be at the center of any discussion we have about gender, marriage or the church. Why? Because the Gospel reminds us that apart from Jesus Christ, we would be lost in our sins and without hope. Such truths will ensure that we approach all people with truth in love and love in truth, since Gospel-centered living is what God is calling all Christ-followers to articulate and model in this 21st century world.  

P2 - A great resource for affirming Biblical manhood and womanhood

Genesis 1:26-28  "Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him;male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Introduction:

Over 25 years ago, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (from hereon CBMW) was formed to equip the wider evangelical world on how to address the increasing momentum of changes introduced by the then feminist movement of the mid to late 20 centuries. With the blurring of lines between genders adovcated by the feminist movement, the attack on the Biblical distinctions between men and women was clearly in motion. The below statement, framed in Danver's Massachusettes, represented the beginnings of the CBMW and the need to affirm God's vision for men and women in the Bible. The hope is that the reader will explore the website of the CBMW in gaining a richer understanding of God's vision for men and women than what has been presented in an introductory fashion in these past two weeks on this blogsite. Here is the the link to the CBMW: http://cbmw.org/ . 

Yesterday we looked at what the Danver Statement has to say in regards to the rationale for biblical manhood and womanhood. Today we conclude this two-part look at the Danver Statement by noting it's affirmations of these vital truths. Like yesterday, numbers have been added to the below excerpt for easier reading. The reader is encouraged to read it and then check out the link I just mentioned. May all of us be equipped to better articulate God's vision for godly manhood, womanhood and marriage in this 21st century world. 

The Danver's Statement: A Summary of the need for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Note to reader: the entirety of this statement can be found at: http://cbmw.org/core-beliefs/

Affirmations
Based on our understanding of Biblical teachings, we affirm the following:

1. Both Adam and Eve were created in God’s image, equal before God as persons and distinct in their manhood and womanhood (Gen 1:26-27, 2:18).

2. Distinctions in masculine and feminine roles are ordained by God as part of the created order, and should find an echo in every human heart (Gen 2:18, 21-24; 1 Cor 11:7-9; 1 Tim 2:12-14).

3. Adam’s headship in marriage was established by God before the Fall, and was not a result of sin (Gen 2:16-18, 21-24, 3:1-13; 1 Cor 11:7-9).

4. The Fall introduced distortions into the relationships between men and women (Gen 3:1-7, 12, 16).

a. In the home, the husband’s loving, humble headship tends to be replaced by domination or passivity; the wife’s intelligent, willing submission tends to be replaced by usurpation or servility.

b. In the church, sin inclines men toward a worldly love of power or an abdication of spiritual responsibility, and inclines women to resist limitations on their roles or to neglect the use of their gifts in appropriate ministries.

5. The Old Testament, as well as the New Testament, manifests the equally high value and dignity which God attached to the roles of both men and women (Gen 1:26-27, 2:18; Gal 3:28). Both Old and New Testaments also affirm the principle of male headship in the family and in the covenant community (Gen 2:18; Eph 5:21-33; Col 3:18-19; 1 Tim 2:11-15).

6. Redemption in Christ aims at removing the distortions introduced by the curse.

a. In the family, husbands should forsake harsh or selfish leadership and grow in love and care for their wives; wives should forsake resistance to their husbands’ authority and grow in willing, joyful submission to their husbands’ leadership (Eph 5:21-33; Col 3:18-19; Tit 2:3-5; 1 Pet 3:1-7).

b. In the church, redemption in Christ gives men and women an equal share in the blessings of salvation; nevertheless, some governing and teaching roles within the church are restricted to men (Gal 3:28; 1 Cor 11:2-16; 1 Tim 2:11-15).

7. In all of life Christ is the supreme authority and guide for men and women, so that no earthly submission-domestic, religious, or civil-ever implies a mandate to follow a human authority into sin (Dan 3:10-18; Acts 4:19-20, 5:27-29; 1 Pet 3:1-2).

8. In both men and women a heartfelt sense of call to ministry should never be used to set aside Biblical criteria for particular ministries (1 Tim 2:11-15, 3:1-13; Tit 1:5-9). Rather, Biblical teaching should remain the authority for testing our subjective discernment of God’s will.

9. With half the world’s population outside the reach of indigenous evangelism; with countless other lost people in those societies that have heard the gospel; with the stresses and miseries of sickness, malnutrition, homelessness, illiteracy, ignorance, aging, addiction, crime, incarceration, neuroses, and loneliness, no man or woman who feels a passion from God to make His grace known in word and deed need ever live without a fulfilling ministry for the glory of Christ and the good of this fallen world (1 Cor 12:7-21).

10. We are convinced that a denial or neglect of these principles will lead to increasingly destructive consequences in our families, our churches, and the culture at large."

P1 - A great resource for the rationale of Biblical manhood and womanhood

Genesis 1:26-28  "Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him;male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Introduction:

During the past two weeks, this blogsite has dedicated two major series to the subject of biblical manhood and biblical womanhood. Such topics are necessary for our day and time, being that the issue of gender, sexuality and the roles of men and women are so skewed in out culture. Our time and challenges are nothing new in one sense. The only only difference is in the increased levels of overtness opponents of God's vision for men and women have expressed in trying to undermine and replace the Biblical framework for understand genuine maleness and femininity. 

Over 25 years ago, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (from hereon CBMW) was formed to equip the wider evangelical world on how to address the increasing momentum of changes introduced by the then feminist movement of the mid to late 20 centuries. With the blurring of lines between genders adovcated by the feminist movement, the attack on the Biblical distinctions between men and women was clearly in motion. The below statement, framed in Danver's Massachusettes, represented the beginnings of the CBMW and the need to affirm God's vision for men and women in the Bible. The hope is that the reader will explore the website of the CBMW in gaining a richer understanding of God's vision for men and women than what has been presented in an introductory fashion in these past two weeks on this blogsite. Here is the the link to the CBMW: http://cbmw.org/ . 

The below statement is an excerpt from the Danver's statement mentioned above, with numbers added for easier reading. The reader is encouraged to read it and then check out the link I just mentioned. May all of us be equipped to better articulate God's vision for godly manhood, womanhood and marriage in this 21st century world. 

The Danver's Statement: A Summary of the need for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Note to reader: the entirety of this statement can be found at: http://cbmw.org/core-beliefs/

Rationale
"In December, 1987, the newly-formed Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood met in Danvers, Massachusetts, to compose the Danvers Statement on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Prior to the listing of the actual affirmations that comprise the Danvers Statement, we have included a section detailing contemporary developments that serve as the rationale for these affirmations. We offer this statement to the evangelical world, knowing that it will stimulate healthy discussion, hoping that it will gain widespread assent.
Rationale

We have been moved in our purpose by the following contemporary developments which we observe with deep concern:

1. The widespread uncertainty and confusion in our culture regarding the complementary differences between masculinity and femininity;

2. The tragic effects of this confusion in unraveling the fabric of marriage woven by God out of the beautiful and diverse strands of manhood and womanhood;

3. The increasing promotion given to feminist egalitarianism with accompanying distortions or neglect of the glad harmony portrayed in Scripture between the loving, humble leadership of redeemed husbands and the intelligent, willing support of that leadership by redeemed wives;

4. The widespread ambivalence regarding the values of motherhood, vocational homemaking, and the many ministries historically performed by women;

5. The growing claims of legitimacy for sexual relationships which have Biblically and historically been considered illicit or perverse, and the increase in pornographic portrayal of human sexuality;

6. The upsurge of physical and emotional abuse in the family;

7. The emergence of roles for men and women in church leadership that do not conform to Biblical teaching but backfire in the crippling of Biblically faithful witness;

8. The increasing prevalence and acceptance of hermeneutical oddities devised to reinterpret apparently plain meanings of Biblical texts;

9. The consequent threat to Biblical authority as the clarity of Scripture is jeopardized and the accessibility of its meaning to ordinary people is withdrawn into the restricted realm of technical ingenuity;

10. And behind all this the apparent accommodation of some within the church to the spirit of the age at the expense of winsome, radical Biblical authenticity which in the power of the Holy Spirit may reform rather than reflect our ailing culture."

P5 - God's vision for godly womanhood: The redemptive restoration of womanhood in Jesus Christ - 1 Tim 2:15

1 Timothy 2:9-10 "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness."

Introduction:

The past few posts have been dedicated to understand God's vision for Biblical womandhood. Thus far we have considered the richness that the woman of God has in regards to God's design and calling of her. We also took the last two posts to explore a second element regarding the role of women in Biblical womanhood. We discovered that women are distinctively equal with men before God's sight in the realms of creation and redemption. That is to say, we saw how women are distinctively designed by God with roles distinct from men while at the same time possessing equal value with men in both creation and redemption. With the richness of godly women and their roles explored, we now turn to the final aspect of understanding God's vision for Biblical womanhood: the godly woman's redemptive purpose.

God's redemptive purposes for women

This element follows logically and theologically from the role assigned by God to women. Likewise, the role of women in God's creative and redemptive work flows forthright from the richness He has given to them as creatures and then moreso in salvation by grace through faith. To deny the second element, the role of the Godly women, is to abandon the ability to grasp the richness and redemptive purposes of women taught so clearly in the Bible. 

To see this most clearly, we once again turn back to Genesis and proceed forward through God's progressive revelation on this subject.

1. In Genesis 1:26-28, we see women have equal value with men and being assigned the Divine mandate to subdue the creation. The distinction of role is seen in Genesis 2:23-25, wherein God through Adam's lips articulates the woman's submissive yieldedness (not subservient!) role to Adam.  In Genesis 3, we see the fall of the man and the woman. As 1 Timothy 2:13-14 explains, the woman was deceived. Adam failed in his responsibility to protect and cover his wife in spiritual headship, and thus because of Adam's willful negligence to her and outright opposition to God's commandment, sin and death befell the human race. (see Romans 5:12-20; 1 Corinthians 15:43-45) Thankfully, God chose to offer a second covenant, a covenant of grace, wherein He spelled out His plan of salvation, beginning with the woman in Genesis 3:15. God's redemptive purposes began with the woman. 

2. As one reads through the accounts of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 12-18, God is communicating His redemptive intentions not only to Abraham, but also to Sarah. Paul picks upon Sarah's significance in God's redemptive plan by using her as a word-picture of salvation (i.e the Jerusalem above) in Galatians 4:21-28.

3. The Mosaic law revealed on Mount Sinai in Exodus and Leviticus, and then repeated in various points throughout Numbers and Deuteronomy, included rights and protection for women that no other culture in the ancient world had. Women for instance, had rights of retaining certain property in the case of divorce (Deuteronomy 24) and were even allowed to appeal for rights to inheritance in the event of the absence of a male successor to their father. (Numbers 27:1-14) The Law of course functions to point the way to the Gospel. With that said, it foreshadows how different things were to be in regards to women amidst God;s redemptive workings.

4. In the books of Ruth and 1 Samuel we see God using two women, Ruth and Hannah to play significant roles in both the Savior's bloodline (Ruth) and God's work through his prophets (Hannah, Samuel's mother). Both women are placed before the reader of scripture as examples of faith and hope in the Lord.

5. In the book of Proverbs, we see in both chapters 1 and chapter 31 examples of the godly woman. God used to women to be influential mothers in the lives of two kings. Sadly, one of those kings did not heed their mother's counsel (Rehoboam, the young man alluded to by Solomon in Proverbs 1). However, King Agur took to heart his mother's counsel in Proverbs 31.

6. Jesus' ministry demonstrated God's redemptive restoration of women in the clearest way possible. Mary was used as the vessel for the bringing forth of Christ's humanity in the virgin birth conception. Luke 8:2-3 records - "and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and sicknesses:Mary who was called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out,3 and Joanna the wife of Chuza,Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many others who were contributing to their support out of their private means." In Matthew 28:1-15 and Mark 16:1-13 we see women present at the empty tomb and women commissioned to proclaim the news of Jesus' resurrection from the dead. It was to Mary Magdalene that Jesus first appeared in His post-resurrection ministry. 

7. The book of Acts records several instances of God's redemptive purposes for restoring the roles and richness of women. Peter reminds his hearers of the prophecy of Joel 2:28-31 in Acts 2:17, which among other things declared that women would be equal sharers with men in the gift of the Holy Spirit. Certainly the Apostles were the ones leading the church, as seen in the nearly twenty sermons recorded in the Book of Acts. However, women aided greatly in the Apostles' ministry, with instances of significant conversions (Lydia in Acts 16) and discipling with the covering of a husband (Priscilla and Aquila in Acts 16).

8. The New Testament letters or epistles abound with statements indicating God's intentions towards redeeming and restoring true biblical womanhood. 1 Corinthians 11 records their distinct roles and equal value in comparison to men. Galatians 3:28 asserts the redemptive equality of godly women with men, while Galatians 4:21-31 asserts the distinctiveness of men and women as seen in Paul's illustration involving Abraham and Sarah. Romans 16 communicates the value both men and women had in the encouragement and advancement of Paul's overall missionary ministry, and yet in the letter to the Ephesians, the roles of husbands and wives are spelled out more clearly in Ephesians 5:22-25. The Apostle Peter asserts God's redemptive purposes in equal measure to all of God's people saved by grace through faith as living stones in 1 Peter 2:9-12. However, we see his clearly spelled out instructions to husbands and wives in 1 Peter 3. These are but some of the more major examples we see of God's desire to restore women to their ultimate role and richness as women of God, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.  

9. Revelation 21-22 perhaps most clearly shows us why the Biblical vision for godly womanhood, in terms of its richness and roles, is so vital to grasp. John the revelator sees the holy city Jerusalem coming out of Heaven as a bride adorned for her husband. (Revelation 21:1-2) If we did not have the distinctions of men and women, husbands and wives, we would not be able to make sense of Christ and His church being together for all eternity. Likewise, in Revelation 22:17, we see the Spirit of God and the bride both saying "Come" to drink freely of the waters of salvation. Unless we understand God's purposes in restoring women's equality of value, we could not make sense of the seemingly exalted place the redeemed people of God (depicted in the glorified church, the bride) have in issuing forth the Bible's final invitation. 

Closing thoughts for today

This survey of the Biblical material on the subject of God's desire to redeem and restore womanhood in Christ is what informs us in our understanding of 1 Timothy 2:15. Dr. John MacArthur in his message: "God's High-calling for Women - P4", explains what is happening in 1 Timothy 2:15: "Now, what is he saying? All women are saved through childbearing. Well, in what way? What kind of a general statement is that? What kind of saved do you mean here? Well not saved from sin, but listen to this: the word saved can mean delivered, or it can mean saved from things other than sin. What we have to understand here is that all women are delivered. Now, listen carefully. All women are delivered from the stigma of having caused the Fall of the race by childbearing. In other words, women led in the Fall, but by the wonderful grace of God they are released from the stigma of that through childbearing. What’s the point? Listen carefully. They may have caused the race to fall by stepping out of their God-intended design, but they also are given the priority responsibility of raising a godly seed. You understand that? That’s the balance. Not soul salvation, not spiritual birth, but women are delivered from being left in a second-class permanently stigmatized situation for the violation of the garden. They are delivered from being thought of as permanently weak, and deceivable, and insubordinate. Can you imagine what it would be like if men had babies, and all women ever contributed to the human race was the Fall? The balance of it: women led the race into sin, but bless God; God has given them the privilege of leading the race out of sin to godliness."

P4 - God's vision for godly womanhood: The equal value women have to men - 1 Tim 2:15

1 Timothy 2:11 "A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness."

1 Timothy 2:15 "But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity withself-restraint."

Introduction:
Yesterday we worked through 1 Timothy 2:10-14 in an attempt to understand the distinctive role women have in God's creative order in comparison to men and the significant place they have in His Kingdom work. In what I termed "distinctive equality", the twin truths of equality and distinctiveness are necessary in properly understanding God's vision for biblical womanhood and manhood. Today we focus on the second truth of showing how women have equal value to men in the sight of God in both His Creative and Redemptive activity.

How women are viewed as equal to men in terms of their value before God
Now what about the woman's equality of value to men? We have already considered 1 Timothy 2:11-14 and its assertion of the distinctive roles of women. 1 Timothy 2:15 asserts the other truth talked about in today's post, namely the equality of value women have in God's redemptive purposes. 1 Timothy 2:13-14 paints for the reader the painful picture of what took place as a result of Eve's deception by the serpent. 1 Timothy 2:14 states - "And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression." Such an action resulted in Eve being viewed negatively in the scripture. 

So then what about 1 Timothy 2:15? The text reads: "But women will be preserved (or saved, restored) through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint." One New Testament scholar, Craig Blomberg, has noted about this passage: "For 1 Timothy, a word study of 'saved', especially in the pastoral epistles, shows that this verb is by no means limited to spiritual redemption. Paul may be referring to the restoration of the female gender to its divinely appointed role, overall, after the fall." Thus the argument could be made that God planned to not only restore the womanhood of Eve upon her response of faith to His salvation, but to restore the reputation of women at large in a general sense and to restore them completely in a specific sense upon their reception of Jesus Christ by faith. 

As we noted yesterday, the scripture's marking of boundaries is not meant to restrict women to the point of non-involvement. If anything, the significant roles women have in the scripture in terms of God's Kingdom work and natural order far outweighs the couple of areas from which they are precluded. For instance, as mothers, women were often seen communicating the truth of God's Word to their children and grandchildren. (Proverbs 30:1-9; 2 Timothy 1:5) It was well-known in ancient Israel that the women instructed the children for the first twelve years of life to such a degree that the young men knew the first five books of the Bible by heart (and that in Hebrew!) We do see instances where women worked alongside in submissive but nonetheless significant roles in the ministry of Jesus (Luke 8) and in Paul (compare Romans 16). The women were the first ones to proclaim the news that Jesus had raised from the dead. When Peter stood up on the day of Pentecost had preached about the coming of the Holy Spirit, he included the fact that women had equal access and sharing in the gift of the Holy Spirit. (see Acts 2:17) Under the headship of her husband, Priscilla and her husband Acquila both discipled the great Bible teacher Apollos in Acts 18:26.  In the redemptive plan of God, women are accorded equal status with men in terms of their inherent value. Galatians 3:28 plainly states - "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male norfemale; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

Answering critics of the Biblical vision of women being distinct in their roles but equal in value (i.e distinct equality)
Some may scoff at this arrangement spelled out in God's Word, claiming that it is archaic or nit-picky details that do not matter. Yet, two responses to such criticisms must be given. First, Satan and his kingdom have an agenda to destroy women of God. Women by nature are more creative and more open to insights then men. In the garden of Eden, Satan went after the woman due to the potential he knew God had for her in His redemptive purposes. Moreover, Satan knows that the best way to get to the man of God is to wreck havok in the life of the woman of God. Hence, God designed the protective headship of godly manhood to protect and cherish women of God from spiritual attack.

Secondly, distinguishing roles between men and women enables them to express the way in which God has made men and women to be so different. Such ordering is by God's design, and thus to attempt to erase such distinctions is going against what God has ordained not only in creation, but redemption. The women at Ephesus were being exploited by men and either oppressed or treated as objects. Once the church at Ephesus began, and as men and women were being converted and the issue of gender and roles needed to be made clear. Contrary to what our culture may communicate, to ignore God's given design of the distinctions between men and women is to cause more hurt than help to asserting the true value of women in both the creative and redemptive realms. 

Closing thoughts
Consider what has happened whenever the distinctiveness and equality of genders has been denied at the expense of one or the other. Sin and mankind's unwillingness to yield to God's design and revelation in His Word always leads to not only imbalance but pain. Whenever equality of women alone is emphasized at the expense of their distinctiveness, movements form that in effect see no need for men or where gender roles are virtually erased. Women end up not being cherished as precious, important and redemptively significant as Christian people or creatively significant in God's overall order.

On the other extreme, whenever the distinctiveness of women is emphasized at the expense of their equal value to men, the excesses of exploitation and viewing women as objects and as being moral degraded like what is so often portrayed in culture is the end result. 

Only the Biblical vision for godly womanhood preserves the distinctive roles of men and women while asserting their equal value in the sight of God. We have learned about the distinctive roles women have in both God's creative and redemptive orders. 

P3 - God's vision for godly womanhood: The distinct role of the godly woman - 1 Tim 2:11-15

1 Timothy 2:11 "A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness."

1 Timothy 2:15 "But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint."

Introduction:

In yesterday's post we spent some time considering God's vision for womanhood in terms of the richness of the woman of God. As we worked our way through 1 Timothy 2:9-10, we observed that a woman of God is spiritually rich and indeed valuable in the sight of God due to how she embodies honor to God, inwardly cultivates beauty before God and emphasizes character for the glory of God. We also concluded the post by pointing the reader to consider Proverbs 31 as the clearest demonstration of what takes place when a woman of God functions in the spiritual richness given to her by the Heavenly Father. 

Today we turn our attention to an equally important subject that has garnered much controversy in and outside the church - the role of godly women. The passages we will consider today are among the most difficult to interpret in God's Word. With that said, we aim to bring other scriptures into conversation with 1 Timothy 2:11-15. When it comes to properly understanding the role of the godly woman in marriage, family, the church and culture, a two-fold emphasis must be kept in mind: equality of value and distinction in role or what I call "distinct equality".  

The distinct role that the woman of God has in relationships and God's Kingdom work
To begin, we need to recognize that whether biologically or spiritually speaking, women are distinct and different from men. In regards to the roles they fulfill in God's kingdom, families and marriage, the roles are distinct, while the value of men and women before God is equal. 1 Timothy 2:11-12 is all about laying out the role the woman of God has in comparison to the man of God. Some have really wrestled with this text over the years, demonstrating it to be among the most difficult to interpret texts in scripture. However whenever we recognize the distinct roles God has assigned to men and women, the difficulties tend to not be as severe. 

Distinction of gender roles began from creation through the Old Testament
Genesis 1:26-28 is where we begin to understand the differences of gender assigned to men and women from creation, in that God created them both "male and female". Such distinctions are not assigned as a result of sin or something inherently wrong with men or women. To the contrary, the differences of gender were given by God from the beginning when he made the man and his wife. When God made the man and woman in his image and likeness, He did so to express the distinctiveness and sameness that is true about Himself as the Trinity.

We see this twin theme of "distinct yet equal" in Genesis 2:23-25 "The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." The phrase of "bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh" indicates the "oneness" or "equality" of the husband and wife, whereas the next phrase "She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of the man" refers to the distinction of the woman being under the authority of her husband. 

Distinction of gender roles carries on into the New Testament
This is echoed by Jesus in Matthew 19:4-6 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

In terms of the natural order, women are under the authority, protection and covering of their husbands. Such priority of role assigned to the husband over his wife is also reflected in the spiritual realm in how women and men function in the church. 1 Corinthians 11:3 states - "But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ." In the created and redemptive ordering of men and women, the men serve their wives by offering a proctective covering, just as Jesus provides protective covering for his bride, the church. (Ephesians 5:22-25)

This distinction of role is why we see Paul express what he states in 1 Timothy 2:11-12. What women are being precluded from are two main areas in the church: namely the pastoral office or some type of public office of authority over the entire church and second, private, one on one discipleship over the men. This conclusion is drawn from another text, 1 Corinthians 14:34-35  "The women are to keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, butare to subject themselves, just as the Law also says. 35 If they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church." Again, women in both passages are not being told to never speak or have any responsibility whatsoever in speaking forth God's Word in a home Bible study or Sunday school class. The only restrictions lie chiefly in a situation where a woman would attempt to assume the role of a pastor or where a woman would provide discipleship headship over a man.

The scripture's marking of boundaries is not meant to restrict women to the point of non-involvement. If anything, the significant roles women have in the scripture in terms of God's Kingdom work and natural order far outweighs the couple of areas from which they are precluded.  Tomorrow's post will cover the second truth about Biblical womanhood that functions alongside their distinctiveness of role from men, namely their equality of value to men in God's creative and redemptive activity.

P2 - God's vision for godly womanhood: The richness of the godly woman - 1 Tim 2:9-10

1 Timothy 2:9-10 "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing,modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments,10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness."

Introduction:
In yesterday's post we established the general outline of 1 Timothy 2 and the specific outline of 1 Timothy 2:9-15 in an attempt to capture God's vision for womanhood in the wider context of His overall vision for the people of God. God's overall vision of His people in the church includes His specific visions for godly manhood (1 Timothy 2:8) and womanhood (1 Timothy 2:9). In yesterday's post we ended with the following outline of 1 Timothy 2:9-15, the text that speaks on the subject of godly womanhood:

God's vision for biblical womanhood

1. Richness of the godly woman. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

2. Role of a godly woman. 1 Tim 2:11-15

3. Redemptive purpose of godly women. 1 Timothy 2:15

Today's post aims to explore the first of these points, namely the richness of the godly woman as understood from 1 Timothy 2:9-10 and other scriptures. 

The richness of a godly woman as set forth in the scriptures
The value of a woman of God in the scriptures, in the church, in the home and in society cannot be overstated. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 sets forth the source of a godly woman's beauty and sense of confidence that contrasts with what the world typically says about such matters. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 mentions three words that spell out for us the richness of the woman of God. 

A godly woman embodies honor to God
In 1 Timothy 2:9 we can note the honor to God such a woman brings into the life of others. 1 Timothy 2:9a states - "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing....". The underlined word "proper" can be rendered "honor" or "that which conveys modesty that is befitting of the person's internal character". In a day and age where women are depicted in dishonorable ways, and in ways that oftentime compromises the respect due to women in general, the woman of God should know how to not only wear clothing that points more to Jesus than herself. According to this text, she ought to adorn her life in the garments of honorable living that causes others to want to draw closer to Jesus. In reading through Jewish literature written in between the Old and New Testaments, this particular word emphasizes people who dress for the sake of communicating honor and respect for themselves and others in the name of the Lord.

A godly woman inwardly demonstrates beauty for God
The second term we see conveying the richness of godly woman hood is in the word we see in 1 Timothy 2:9b - "modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments....". This notion of "braided hair and gold or pearls" has to do with a particular way in which the women of the culture of that day dressed and carried themselves to attract illicit attention. Now before I go any further, I will say that I am in no way opposing the use of cosmetics as used in typical everyday circumstances, nor is this text. What is interesting about the the word translated "adorn" is the verb "kosmeo" from whence our English word "cosmetics" derives. The word "kosmeo" speaks of arranging things in their proper order, hence the beauty being described here in the text refers to a well-ordered interior spiritual life that in its expression is literally a beautiful life dedicated to God and the benefit of others. The text is not opposing cosmetics, but rather is emphasizing the source of beauty and opposing a certain abuse of outward beautification. Paul is opposing the use of cosmetics and clothing that would cause a woman to be suggestive or to exploit her value as a woman for the sake of temporary financial gain.  We hear all the time how women are negatively and unrealistically portrayed in the media and magazines. 

Where does the woman of God's true beauty derive? To reinforce Paul's point here in 1 Timothy 2:9 about "modestly", the Apostle Peter writes these words in 1 Peter 3:3-4 "Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." The term "modesty" refers to a soundness of mind which leads to soundness of heart and thus a beautiful outward expression of life. The type of beauty described here is the type that others would want to have and which can only be obtained by having a walk with God. In other words, the woman of God's interior beauty begins with how she is ordering her mind by the scriptures. As the woman of God cultivates her interior relationship with God, the confidence that comes with the soundness and appeal of true beauty will flow from the inside out. 

Practically speaking, people find themselves wanting to be in the company of a woman of God who balances herself in the matters of the mind, the heart and loving-kindness towards others. When interior beauty is pursued, the outward beauty will follow. So a woman of God's richness is expressed in how she embodies honor to God and internally cultivates a beauty for God but notice a third way we see the godly woman's richness in these verses....

A godly woman emphasizes her character in godly living
1 Timothy 2:10 states in the NASB - "but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness." The phrase translated "making a claim" here in the NASB is rendered by other translations (KJV, ESV) as "profess godliness". In other words, women who aim to be consistent women of God desire to have their internal character and outward conduct matching one another. 

In the pagan culture of Ephesus of the 1st century, to which Paul wrote 1 Timothy, women were treated very poorly by men and oftentimes would adorn themselves in suggestive ways or live the kind of lives where they put on outward masks that covered up the brokeness and emptiness they felt on the inside. This warped sentiment that is the result of broken male culture corresponds with what we see going in in today's culture. The potential richness of a woman of God is exchanged for manmade, cheapened views of womanhood. When God's vision of womanhood is embraced by faith in Jesus Christ, the value of women is not only raised but restored to what God had originally planned it to be. Moreover, the richness of women in God's plan actually exceeds what was originally expressed in the opening chapters of Genesis, since in Christ, godly women along with godly men are called to not only bring to order this visible creation, but are also called to co-reign with Jesus in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 2:5-10). 

How scripture depicts a woman of God flowing in the richness of godly womanhood
So a woman of God is a woman rich in how she embodies honor to God, inwardly demonstrates beauty for God and emphasizes character leading to life in God. Where can we look in scripture to see this richness of godly womanhood in action? I encourage the reader to consider Proverbs 31. Now we won't go into near the detail like we did in 1 Timothy 2:9-10. With that said, we will close out today's post by noticing a general outline of Proverbs 31 that can serve as a map for guiding the reader in seeing how the richness of godly womanhood is communicated in that passage:

The richness of godly womanhood in Proverbs 31

1. Richness of a godly mother communicating wisdom to her children. Proverbs 31:1-9

2. Richness of a godly wife enriching the life of her marriage. Proverbs 31:10-28

3. Richness of a godly woman in her praise to God. Proverbs 31:29-31

P1 - God's vision for godly people: godly manhood & womanhood

1 Timothy 2:9-10 "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments,10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness."

Introduction:

Today's post begins a series of studies on what God has to say about being a woman of God in the scriptures. 1 Timothy 2:9-15 is one of the most difficult to interpret and yet richest texts on God's vision for godly womanhood in the Bible. In exploring this very profound passage, we will follow the true and tested method of using clearer scriptures to shed light on passages that are harder to understand (called by theologians the "analogy of faith" or "comparing scripture with scripture). Today's post begins with the the goal of offering an overall outline of 1 Timothy 2 and a specific outline of 1 Timothy 2:9-15. If we are going to grasp what God is saying about women of God, we need to understand the larger context 1 Timothy 2. The next couple of posts will then be devoted to unfolding the wealth of truth found within 1 Timothy 2:9-15. 

God has designed the church to be a place to grow a people of God empowered by Him

Whenever you read 1 Timothy 2:1-7, you discover that God has ordained the church to be a place to develop the people of God. Paul is articulating what it means to have God empowered living. He lays out in In 1 Timothy 2:1-7 the vision for such a reality in general, with specific application of that vision focused on Biblical manhood (1 Timothy 2:8) and womanhood (1 Timothy 2:9-15). We can outline 1 Timothy 2 in the following fashion:

God-Empowered Living

1. Biblical defining God-empowered living. 1 Timothy 2:1-8

Such living leads to the following outcomes....

a. Pleasing God. 1 Timothy 2:3-4

b. Powerful Testimony. 1 Tim 2:3-4

c. Profound church life. 1 Tim 2:7-8

2. Biblical specifying God-empowered living. 1 Timothy 2:8-15

a. God's vision for godly manhood. 1 Tim 2:8

b. God's vision for godly womanhood. 1 Tim 2:9-15

The design and intention of God for His church is that it would be a place where sinners are born-anew to be saints by the scriptures in faith and repentance. As the saints of God express their faith publically by believer's baptism, partaking of the Lord's supper, fellowship around the preaching and teaching of the Word and evangelism, the world gets to witness men of God and women of God in action.  As we noted at the beginning of this post, we want to understand specifically what it means to be a woman of God according to the scriptures. Below we offer the following outline of 1 Timothy 2:9-15

God's vision for biblical womanhood

1. Richness of the godly woman. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

2. Role of a godly woman. 1 Tim 2:11-15

In this particular set of verses, Paul will lay out the distinctions that a woman has from men, while communicating the equality of redemptive value men and women have before God. Again, other scriptures can aid in illuminating these truths.

3. Redemptive purpose of godly women. 1 Timothy 2:15

More tomorrow....

P4 Guest Blogger Deborah Smith - Relational, Emotional and Spiritual Effects of Insecurities in Women

Genesis 1:27 "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

Introduction: Guest Blogger Debi Smith
My wonderful wife Debi Smith has been featured in the past as a guest blogger on "Growing Christian Resources". Currently Debi is doing her Bachelors Degree in Christian Counseling at Liberty University. Recently I asked her if she would allow me to post her most recent paper that she did entitled: "Relational, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects of Insecurity in Women". I believe this topic is very important and that my wife's recent research and writing can provide an invaluable resource to the Body of Christ and readers of this blog. With that said we will be finishing today what Deb wrote, with the goal of concluding this very important series of posts on the issues surrounding women's insecurities. I now present to you once more, our guest blogger Deborah Smith:

Relational, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects of Insecurity in Women (continued)

Can an Insecure Woman Find Hope and Security in Jesus Christ?

The Bible is the answer book for all men and women who have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. If a person has surrendered their life under Jesus Christ’s Lordship, then the answer is a resounding “Yes!” There is most definitely hope. It is not an easy path to overcome insecurities. Healing and changing an unhealthy mindset does not happen overnight, however, Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” (NIV). What are some steps to overcoming the faulty thinking of insecurity?

Develop God-esteem, Rather than Self EsteemThe Bible has much to say about what a man and a woman’s identity is in Christ. In Dr. Neil T. Anderson’s book, “The Bondage Breaker”, he addresses that after a person comes to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, meaning that they have recognized their need for a Savior and turned their hearts towards Him, every man and woman now can be secure in their “new identity”. In Christ all are accepted (John 1:12; John 15:15; Romans 5:1), all are secure (Romans 8), 2 Corinthians 1:21, 22), all are significant (Ephesians 2:10; Ephesians 3:12) (Anderson, 2000). 

Recognize That Only God Can Fill the VoidAll people have the need to be accepted and loved. God created people to be this way on purpose. Everyone has a void that is like a vacuum that cannot be satisfied by any person or thing. Only God Himself can meet this need and fill that empty place within every heart. Only He can give the unfailing love people desperately crave and desire (Moore et al, 2003). Not only does God fill the “love and acceptance” void in the heart of every one of His followers, but He promises that He will never disappoint. “Kings will be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers. They will bow down before you with their faces to the ground; they will lick the dust at your feet. Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed” (Isaiah 49:23, NIV). He invites everyone to “taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him” (Psalm 34:8, NIV).

Allow God to Heal the Past In regards to the past traumas and hurts that women have experienced, God can help move a person past the pain and into a wonderfully healthy relationship with Him. “Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father’s house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord” (Psalm 45:10-11, NIV). Regarding one’s past, He also says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19, NIV). 

Put God’s Approval above the Approval of ManIn the quest for acceptance, it is imperative that the approval that is sought out is God’s and not a mere human’s. Even the apostle Paul needed to remind himself of Whom He served and sought out to please. “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10, NIV). 

In conclusion, insecurity can originate from the deepest, darkest places inside a woman. Past traumas and hurts can serve as chains to hold one down. An unhealthy self-image and pride can perpetuate insecurities as well. Insecurity destroys relationships and devalues the person who harbors it. Insecurity can keep a person in an endless cycle of relationships that harm. However, through a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, insecurity’s power over a woman’s mind and heart can be broken. Self-esteem can be replaced by God-esteem. He alone can heal the past and enable His daughters to move forward in a new identity. Through God, the insecure can indeed become secure once and for all.

ReferencesAnderson, N. T. (2000). The Bondage Breaker. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers.

Anderson, N. T. (2000). Victory Over the Darkness. Ventura, California: Regal books.

Berger-Stassen, K. (2011). The developing Person Through the Life Span 8th Edition. New York, New York: Worth Publishers.

Bleske-Rechek, A., & Lighthall, M. (2010). Attractiveness and Rivalry in Women's Friendships with Women. Hum Nat, 82-97.

Daly, R. (2010). Spotlight Shined on Hollywood's Unrealistic Portrayal of Women. Psychiatric News, 13,30.

Furman, R., Collins, K., Garner, M. D., Montanaro, K. L., & Weber, G. (2009). Using Social Work Theory for the Fascilitation of Friendships. Smith College Studies in Social Work, 17-33.

Holman, T. B., Galbraith, R. C., Timmons, N. M., Steed, A., & Tobler, S. B. (2009 30:413). Threats to Parental and Romantic Attachment Figures' Availability and Adult Attachment Insecurity. Journal of Family Issues, 413-429.

Moore, B. (2010). So Long Insecurity. Carol Stream, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Moore, B., Briscoe, J., Wilson, S. D., Hart, K., Hager, D., & Wells, T. L. (2003). A Woman and Her God. Brentwood: American Association of Christian Counselors.

Quigg, S. L., & Want, S. C. (2011). Highlighting Media Modifications: Can a Television Commercial Mitigate the Effects of Music Videos on Female Appearance Satisfaction? Elsevier, 135-142.

Smart, C., Davies, K., Heaphy, B., & Mason, J. (2012). Difficult Friendships and Ontological Insecurity. The Sociological Review, 91-109.

Walker, K. (1994). Men, Women, and Friendship: What They Say, What They Do. Gender and Society, 246-265.

Want, S. C. (2009). Meta-analytic Moderators of Experimental Exposure to Media Portrayals of Women on Female Appearance Satisfaction: Social Comparisons as Automatic Processes. Elsevier, 257-269.

P3 Guest Blogger Deborah Smith - Relational, Emotional and Spiritual Effects of Insecurities in Women

Genesis 1:27 "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

Introduction: Guest Blogger Debi Smith
My wonderful wife Debi Smith has been featured in the past as a guest blogger on "Growing Christian Resources". Currently Debi is doing her Bachelors Degree in Christian Counseling at Liberty University. Recently I asked her if she would allow me to post her most recent paper that she did entitled: "Relational, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects of Insecurity in Women". I believe this topic is very important and that my wife's recent research and writing can provide an invaluable resource to the Body of Christ and readers of this blog. With that said we continue from where we left off yesterday and will focus today on the side effects of insecurity. I now present to you our guest blogger Deborah Smith:

Relational, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects of Insecurity in Women (continued)

What are the Side Effects of Insecurity?

Ruined Friendships Previously this paper looked at the danger of women comparing themselves to unrealistic images of women through the media. It was mentioned that such comparisons can result in depression and eating disorders. Comparisons made with non-media related women can also have ill effects. Comparisons affect who an insecure woman chooses as a friend. This quote was made after observing a survey of college aged women: “Because men place a premium on physical attractiveness, competition among women to attract men centers heavily on their level of attractiveness; thus women should not want a friend to be much more attractive that they are because then they might look less desirable in competition in comparison to their friend, but at the same time women should not want a friend to be much less attractive that they are because that might inhibit their ability to gain attention or interest from men when together” (Recheck & Lighthall, 2010, p.84). 

Insecure women compare themselves in more areas other than appearance. In the workplace a rivalry with other women often keeps women from forming friendships within their profession. This was especially true in male-dominated workplaces. The other females that worked alongside them were viewed as competition (Walker, 1994). Insecurities also cause women to destroy good friendships - needed friendships – out of jealousy (Moore, 2010). In an example on how insecurity destroys friendships, Beth Moore shares an account of a woman who had had a disagreement with a friend. She wrote an email apology to this friend and when she didn’t hear back, she assumed her friend was angry and proceeded to write another email, followed by another asking her friend to forget the former emails. Insecurity causes people to make fools of themselves out of desperation to protect or fix a relational problem that is perceived (Moore, 2010).

Unhealthy Relationships, Rejection, and ShameInsecurity also throws women into the arms of people that can hurt them and continue the cycle of insecurity. 

“We end up putting ourselves in one messed-up relationship after another trying to find someone who will take care of us. Someone who will not disappoint us. And it never works. For one thing, that kind of motivation draws us to the wrong kind of people” (Moore, 2010, p.66).

When rejection or betrayal occurs, whether in a love relationship or in a friendship relationship, an insecure woman experiences shame and guilt. It is as though she should’ve known better than trusting someone in the first place. This is demonstrated in a personal account from a study done on Ontological Insecurity. The woman interviewed tells of how she friended another woman she met in a class and grew close. After joining this new friend several times at her family’s home, the woman began feeling as though she were the source of an inside joke. Soon after, the relationship was severed and the two no longer communicated. She expressed guilt and shame that she should’ve been able to “read” the persons character better (Smart, Davies, Heaphy, & Mason, 2012).

Insecurity Leads to Self-Defeat and Distorted View of IdentityIn healthy friendships in children, “there is greater involvement in school, a sense of acceptance by peers, and positive self-esteem” (Furman, Collins, Garner, Montanaro, & Weber, 2009, p.19) The opposite of this is “isolation and alienation which leads to social dislocation and depression in individuals” (Furman, Collins, Garner, Montanaro, & Weber, 2009, p.19). When insecurity wiggles its way into a relationship it can manifest through self-defeating thoughts and messages. For example, “Nobody wants to hear from me” or “No one cares about me” (Furman, Collins, Garner, Montanaro, & Weber, 2009, p. 28). 

More tomorrow........