Friday, November 8, 2013

P4 Guest Blogger Deborah Smith - Relational, Emotional and Spiritual Effects of Insecurities in Women

Genesis 1:27 "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

Introduction: Guest Blogger Debi Smith
My wonderful wife Debi Smith has been featured in the past as a guest blogger on "Growing Christian Resources". Currently Debi is doing her Bachelors Degree in Christian Counseling at Liberty University. Recently I asked her if she would allow me to post her most recent paper that she did entitled: "Relational, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects of Insecurity in Women". I believe this topic is very important and that my wife's recent research and writing can provide an invaluable resource to the Body of Christ and readers of this blog. With that said we will be finishing today what Deb wrote, with the goal of concluding this very important series of posts on the issues surrounding women's insecurities. I now present to you once more, our guest blogger Deborah Smith:

Relational, Emotional, and Spiritual Effects of Insecurity in Women (continued)

Can an Insecure Woman Find Hope and Security in Jesus Christ?

The Bible is the answer book for all men and women who have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. If a person has surrendered their life under Jesus Christ’s Lordship, then the answer is a resounding “Yes!” There is most definitely hope. It is not an easy path to overcome insecurities. Healing and changing an unhealthy mindset does not happen overnight, however, Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” (NIV). What are some steps to overcoming the faulty thinking of insecurity?

Develop God-esteem, Rather than Self Esteem
The Bible has much to say about what a man and a woman’s identity is in Christ. In Dr. Neil T. Anderson’s book, “The Bondage Breaker”, he addresses that after a person comes to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, meaning that they have recognized their need for a Savior and turned their hearts towards Him, every man and woman now can be secure in their “new identity”. In Christ all are accepted (John 1:12; John 15:15; Romans 5:1), all are secure (Romans 8), 2 Corinthians 1:21, 22), all are significant (Ephesians 2:10; Ephesians 3:12) (Anderson, 2000). 

Recognize That Only God Can Fill the Void
All people have the need to be accepted and loved. God created people to be this way on purpose. Everyone has a void that is like a vacuum that cannot be satisfied by any person or thing. Only God Himself can meet this need and fill that empty place within every heart. Only He can give the unfailing love people desperately crave and desire (Moore et al, 2003). Not only does God fill the “love and acceptance” void in the heart of every one of His followers, but He promises that He will never disappoint. “Kings will be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers. They will bow down before you with their faces to the ground; they will lick the dust at your feet. Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed” (Isaiah 49:23, NIV). He invites everyone to “taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him” (Psalm 34:8, NIV).

Allow God to Heal the Past 
In regards to the past traumas and hurts that women have experienced, God can help move a person past the pain and into a wonderfully healthy relationship with Him. “Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention: Forget your people and your father’s house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord” (Psalm 45:10-11, NIV). Regarding one’s past, He also says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19, NIV). 

Put God’s Approval above the Approval of Man
In the quest for acceptance, it is imperative that the approval that is sought out is God’s and not a mere human’s. Even the apostle Paul needed to remind himself of Whom He served and sought out to please. “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10, NIV). 

In conclusion, insecurity can originate from the deepest, darkest places inside a woman. Past traumas and hurts can serve as chains to hold one down. An unhealthy self-image and pride can perpetuate insecurities as well. Insecurity destroys relationships and devalues the person who harbors it. Insecurity can keep a person in an endless cycle of relationships that harm. However, through a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, insecurity’s power over a woman’s mind and heart can be broken. Self-esteem can be replaced by God-esteem. He alone can heal the past and enable His daughters to move forward in a new identity. Through God, the insecure can indeed become secure once and for all.

Anderson, N. T. (2000). The Bondage Breaker. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers.

Anderson, N. T. (2000). Victory Over the Darkness. Ventura, California: Regal books.

Berger-Stassen, K. (2011). The developing Person Through the Life Span 8th Edition. New York, New York: Worth Publishers.

Bleske-Rechek, A., & Lighthall, M. (2010). Attractiveness and Rivalry in Women's Friendships with Women. Hum Nat, 82-97.

Daly, R. (2010). Spotlight Shined on Hollywood's Unrealistic Portrayal of Women. Psychiatric News, 13,30.

Furman, R., Collins, K., Garner, M. D., Montanaro, K. L., & Weber, G. (2009). Using Social Work Theory for the Fascilitation of Friendships. Smith College Studies in Social Work, 17-33.

Holman, T. B., Galbraith, R. C., Timmons, N. M., Steed, A., & Tobler, S. B. (2009 30:413). Threats to Parental and Romantic Attachment Figures' Availability and Adult Attachment Insecurity. Journal of Family Issues, 413-429.

Moore, B. (2010). So Long Insecurity. Carol Stream, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Moore, B., Briscoe, J., Wilson, S. D., Hart, K., Hager, D., & Wells, T. L. (2003). A Woman and Her God. Brentwood: American Association of Christian Counselors.

Quigg, S. L., & Want, S. C. (2011). Highlighting Media Modifications: Can a Television Commercial Mitigate the Effects of Music Videos on Female Appearance Satisfaction? Elsevier, 135-142.

Smart, C., Davies, K., Heaphy, B., & Mason, J. (2012). Difficult Friendships and Ontological Insecurity. The Sociological Review, 91-109.

Walker, K. (1994). Men, Women, and Friendship: What They Say, What They Do. Gender and Society, 246-265.

Want, S. C. (2009). Meta-analytic Moderators of Experimental Exposure to Media Portrayals of Women on Female Appearance Satisfaction: Social Comparisons as Automatic Processes. Elsevier, 257-269.

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